Living Life Fully

Most of my life I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I knew who I wanted to be. I tried to find out who I was. But I was told not following the “rules” was my rebellious nature and too much worldly pride. As a result, I made safe choices. Got married young, had children just as young, and stayed active in my religion.

As my children got older, I wanted more. I felt controlled and unaccepted for who I was. The square peg got bigger and round hole larger. Enter divorce. Enter Resilience, Courage, Grit, and Grace.

After my very messy and public divorce, I started my own personal training business and those qualities were essential. With being a stay at home Army wife the only thing on my resume, I had to rebuild myself from the ground up after moving to a new town with no money, friends, family, or job. It was a sink or swim moment.

I reminded myself of my past victories and adventures.

Among them being raised on a ranch with animals and chores, working on a steamboat that went up and down the Mississippi River, kicked out of BYU, actor in LA, being a bodybuilder competitor, having a faith crisis and leaving the LDS church, to navigating emerging memories of trauma and starting my own business. You could say I’ve already had 9 lives!

My life experience is vast. Full of ups and downs and a life lived fully.

What I’ve learned through all this is to keep going. To keep trying. And to demand more. More from myself and more from my relationships. I demand bursts of joy in my life. I don’t expect perfection. I expect myself to work hard to give myself the life I want. I say no to people or experiences that no longer serve me. I work at keeping connections with my friends and those who inspire me.

My life is full and abundant. It’s also full of heartbreaks and disappointments. There have been moments I thought I could not go on. And that’s ok. It means I’m out there living, risking, and experiencing. Not hiding or playing small.

I believe we aren’t meant to do life alone. Connections are everything. Owning my story gives me strength and hope. And I was never broken. I just believed that. I’ve learned to pull out the old beliefs and voices from my head and decide which ones are mine. Which ones are parents, society, religion, abusers, etc.?

My passion is helping others cultivate Resilience and Grit. Add in a bit of Courage and Grace and you have the perfect recipe for cultivating a rewarding life.

Let's do this.